On my mind or out of my mind a very thin line

Don’t be worried about your smartphone or TV spying on you. Your vacuum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for years.
If you can’t think of a word say “I forgot the English word for it.” That way people will think you’re bilingual instead of an idiot
I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out.
I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.
My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.
Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE, it was a pizza.... OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?
I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.
Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.
Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below freezing outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented. I forgot where I was going with this.

I love approaching 80, I learn something new every day and forget 5 other things.

A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.

I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.

Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave the house.

It’s weird being the same age as old people.

When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.

Marriage Counselor: Your wife says you never buy her flowers. Is that true? Me : To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.

Never sing in the shower! Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, and slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked. So remember…Don’t sing!

I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

So if a cow doesn’t produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?

I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet.

You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.

 

tell the plaque stuck on my widow maker what it thinks of pizza and high fat.
I lost 40 pounds in 2 months because I wanted to live.
I hate salad.
Im sick of fruit.
I hate beats.
I hate anything not meat related.
but...
I wanted to live. im still here and shooting.
I met my goal.
my wife loves me that much more.
dinner, here it comes. tofu and water.
wives are the hardest nurses to deal with. lol.

 

The first pic was me at my heaviest. I finally one day said no more excuses. Time to eat right and get my life back so I could live and enjoy my life and hobbies again. August 2018 I took a few courses on proper eating habits learning proper nutrition and portion sizes, how to read nutrition labels properly and put it all to use. By August of 2019 I had lost 152;bs and by Christmas of that year 182lbs. By March 2020 I had lost 215lbs and at that point my doctor stepped in and suggested I quit losing weight and try to maintain that weight as he was worried losing any more may cause health issues due to such significant loss. I have stayed at that weight now for a little over a year and feel better now than I did at this weight in my 20's. I am no longer on bp meds, no longer have sleep apnea and even my vision corrected itself greatly to where I only need glasses for reading again. Best thing I ever did for myself. Costly though as I had to replace or modify the stocks on almost every shotgun I own to get them to fit me again!

 

Congratulations Hasbeen. Do you think taking the weight off helped your energy and trap shooting? I'm sure your gun fit changed a bunch. I always shot singles better a little heavy, about 175 and caps better a little skinny about 160 back in the day. Maybe when I was skinny being hungry made me a better money shooter.

Today I fluctuate between 185 and 200 depending on how much I'm eating and the season. I'm like a ground hog, I put it on in the summer and take it off in the winter when I'm hunting a lot. I'd like to get down to 175 and stay there but I still like to eat too much for that It seems.